Little things... the little things people do, or do not do, in their interactions with each other.

Little things can seem like big things, sometimes, especially to ultra-sensitive people, or those with a compromised personality in this sense. I believe that I am one such person. I lack the ability to discern which little things are meaningful and true indicators of big things, and which are just, simply, little things.

In fact, not all little things are just that. Some are attempts by others to communicate bigger things... ehh, shall we say "tactfully". They may not feel up to saying, "Hey you're pissing me off," or "I don't want to go out with you." Conversely, people don't always feel like being directly complimentary either. They may feel shy, or in some situations, it may be too forward to say, for instance, "I like the way you look." In these situations and others, we find little ways to tell each other bigger things. We drop hints.

Unlike people who can't take hints, I tend to take too many. I read "signals" that are not there. I get hurt (or angry, or even happy) rather too often, due to "hints" I take, that were just little, hapless, incidental things.

I try to compensate, sometimes, most often unsuccessfully. I will try to ignore a "hint" that other indications suggest is just a "little thing". One result is that I end up feeling bugged, because at a gut level, I cannot ignore the "signal". Alternatively, I miss an actual hint, and end up in an awkward situation because of it, kicking myself because I had seen the signs but ignored them.

The "hints" I am most sensitive to, are those that indicate rejection in some way. I have an excruciatingly high sensitivity to interpersonal rejection (a key borderline characteristic, btw). Regardless of why I have it or what it's part of, I do not know how to mitigate it, and it makes things very, very difficult, in person, online, it doesn't matter.

I am a freaky-outy person, and I freak out over little things.

waves