For a long time now I have been in and out of therapy dealing with my issues.
I have made an appointment to see a doctor of osteopathy.
I found a female and she takes my insurance. I am hoping she can be my primary physician and even mange my psych meds for bipolar. I need some one who is willing to look at me in the whole and manage my care. She would replace 3 doctors, hopefully.
She also does manipulations which is a bonus because I could use a good tune up in that area.
She is only 34 years old. So far from her website the only thing that is a negative is she is very over weight. How can she be a good role model being that much over weight? I know that sounds judgmental but seriously, if prevention of disease is a main goal.....

I don't have any dreams....I believe my meds took that away. I am not motivated to start any new hobbies. My main motivation for not drinking is to lose weight. I am trying to get back to the gym and walk on the tred mill 3 days a week, that is a time commitment any where from 1.5 hours to 2.5 hours because of driving time and length of walk. Eventually I would like to run but am afraid my knees won't let me....plus I don't like to sweat.

4 years ago I was obsessed with dieting and losing weight I was down to 122 pounds too thin for this 5'7 inches body. I fell and broke my collar bone and that put an end to my dieting, healing became my priority. 3 weeks ago I was at my highest weight 160 in years. A shocker. I should have expected this as I had been eating and drinking freely over the holidays.
A goal of mine ( now) is to be healthy. I eat everyday at a health food store for lunch. I have made friends with the "lunch bunch". They are very nice and invited me to eat with them a few years ago. Before that I was eating alone. So I have increased socialization which is good. These are superficial friends for the most part. I am trying to nurture a couple of females in the group, they are keeping an arms distance for some reason. I don't have that many real friends.
Not drinking seems easier than not being on the computer.
I had a cancellation this morning so had some free time to do some paper work but chose to get on the computer instead. I am very behind in my paperwork. I just don't have the discipline to just DO IT!
Taxes are coming due and I need to start getting ready for that.
My house needs a cleaning and hubby is not concerned about that so he doesn't take the initiative to clean unless I ask him to. The yard needs work, have a yard man that I will ask to trim bushes back and cut down a dead flower bed that died from the frost. In the evenings I would spend a lot of time in the chat rooms. It was something to do and avoid work. I should use computer time as a reward for doing paper work. The chat rooms are instant gratification...I call it mental ************.
I need more motivation to be grown up and do my paper work and get off the computer.
I need balance in my life.
thanks again for your support.
bizi