Thank you for your kind reply.
I'm a recently retired Army Nurse-28 years. Years ago I was thrown out of the back of a military vehicle, sustaining a tibial fx ( I landed upright). I really think my issues began then, but my age and occupation also added to my problems. Sometimes a nurse especially on deployment has to lift, shove, push, move an injured Soldier by his/herself. I have no regrets there at all. The PMs and NSs always note that fact and chart it, but that doesn't help much.
When you move to a new assignment in the Army, you have a visit with a HCP and about 11 years ago, I finally admitted that my LBP was about an "8". I had been taking OTC meds for years with little relief. I was referred to PM and began 2 years there of every procedure that the PMs could think of. I saw 5 different PMs; they rotated in and out of Iraq and Afghanistan (as I had done). Each eventually would comment that I should go to a NS and try narcotics. I always declined until unknown to me, my case was discussed in some inter disciplinary mtg at the end of the second year when my first NS called me and told me that I absolutely needed to have an L3-S1 laminectomy. I knew the surgeon, trusted him, and had worked w him (I was an operating room nurse).
That procedure only made my pain worse and three months later, I had a PLIF-posterior lumbar interbody fusion, and was back at work 30 days later.
I was OK for a while, then developed awful L SI joint pain, supposedly from the extra weight of my spine. The NS (the second one) was deploying, so I chose to wait until he returned. During that time, I began stumbling and falling. My left foot was tingling, numb, heavy- PN- foot drop. Hooray.
In Oct 2013, I had a left SI fusion. Again I had a few months of feeling better and then the same thing. Unrelenting pain that then and now, keeps me from sleeping. (So tired when I go to bed that I fall asleep quickly, but awaken every hour and a half to 2 hours because I am hurting and need to reposition).
The NS has said he doesn’t know what else to do, and sent me back to PM. I think I’ve tried everything there is with little to no help. The last military PM ( I don’t think he believes that I hurt) sent me to a Psychologist. He at first expressed that a SCS would do me no good, but seems to have changed his mind, and wants me to try this.
I am so depressed and afraid. I don’t think I can handle another failure. I’ve been rx’ed numerous antidepressants, sleep and pain meds. Little to no relief or violent side effects.
Yes, I have been in "that place" and fight that urge everyday.
I appreciate your support. Lara suggested I go to the SCS forum. Maybe I'll "see" you there.
Pat