today hurts
i have locked the door
to my room

for those who know me
understand how important
family is to me

Only for that rug too be pulled
from underneath me by my
family

One by one at some point in their life
they would say
you shouldn't have had children
my 32 year old son expressed first

i felt good that through all the adversities
i never thought ever
"i wish i never had children"

i taught them as they grew
that phrase
"never say never"
or
"it can't get any worse"

I said the unthinkable after my eldest
pulled a very hurtful costly painful
stunt that has become my responsibility
allowing her and her husband to use it
for Christmas gifts
with her husband who only in november or
december landed a job @65,000.00
and yeah just getting back on their
the child i wish there more of in the world
and like i said it's a long story
it will make sense for those who followed me over the years
and my failed surgery brought me here

so how do i respond now that it be told by them all

what my 34 year daughter Sara said to me

"you shouldn't have had any children"

and because all fell that way

maybe i shouldn't have

AND I SAID "IT"

you all are right

Sorry

me