So I believe when I last posted I had been in the ER and had a bad reaction to Compazine. Oh, and I was asking if anyone was aware of any sources discussing why I can write out thoughts buts can't verbalize them...

For those new-- Lawyer, hit by semi-truck on 10/8/14 while going to meeting. Dazed, confused, shortness of breath, immediate back pain followed by neck stiffness, right arm weakness and one whopper of a headache. But I was fortunate to walk away.

But no concussion protocol done at ER. So my wife and I and PCP had no idea I'd been injured. Within a week, mood and personality changes began to affect marriage. 3 weeks post-accident I realized something was wrong and sought psychotherapy. It takes another like 5 weeks before I realize I've been in a fog and have lost memory of past 2 months. So my psychologist diagnoses PCS.

I went to a very-well respected neurologist who is buddies w a doctor friend of mine. But he doesn't specialize in mTBI. He sends me to a neuropsych for an eval and would you believe I got in on a cancelation in less than a week?!

I get the eval done. Now, on my law school entrance exams I scored high enough for membership in MENSA. And the eval shows a pure intellect IQ which again would qualify me for MENSA... But that doesn't account for my working memory, concentration, and "attentional process" which were all tested as impaired. So that now drops my IQ and it also is EXACTLY what I was explaining was my problem with work.

The neuropsych diagnosis-- mTBI, cognitive disorder, persistent PCS. He recommends speech and cognitive therapy, a psychiatrist for the anxiety and depression, and a slow return to work but says he thinks I have the potential of a full recovery with therapy and a careful transition.

But my Neuro has other ideas. This whole time he has been thinking possible "frontotemporal dementia" and/or encephalitis. These are his first thoughts for a 36 yo lawyer who has no history of major illness and was at the top of his game career-wise until right after getting hit by a semi-truck, that is...I just got chosen as a "Super Lawyer Rising Star" for the 2nd year in a row.... I mean, cmon

So he finally admits he really has no answers. I have wasted 2 months of my life hoping and praying that he would figure it out.

But it was just like the author of "Brainlashed!" He says to me-- Hey, you still have "superior intellect" so just get that anxiety and depression under control and you'll be fine...

But I'm not fine. My memory is, at best, "average" now. But even then the testing showed impaired recall of memory. I hardly cracked a book or took notes in law school. Now, hey-- my friend, forget about it-- you are average and average ain't bad!

My wife is doing her best to be supportive but she is going through her own struggles not knowing who she is going to wake up to each day... Will I sleep all day? Stare at the wall? Take dinner in the bedroom by myself? Or will I have a conversation with her over coffee/juice? Be able to go to the grocery store with her and my daughters? Or watch a movie wight them?

And I am feeling very trapped inside myself and alone. I have heard of mTBI support groups that meet... How do I find out about that? I love reading your words of encouragement but I could use some interaction with people that understand.

Oh, and I am being terminated from my job. I asked to meet aight them, more than once... Kept them updated. Asked for us to work out a plan to return part-time and transition back to work. Silence from them. Until I got a single e-mail on Friday the 13th telling me if I wS not back at work full time by March 6 full time, I am terminated.... They hired my replacement the day before.

(I know... The ADA and other stuff, but we'll see how that works out....)

So I am discouraged. But I can't throw in the towel. I have a wife and two beautiful daughters to support. And they are worth the fight.

I have some ideas. I am still working on things. But what I do know is that I can't just wait to get better. The neuropsych I want to believe is right.

I read the warnings on other posts about finding the right neurologist. For the newbies, PLEASE don't ignore that. And every day is different. But it helps if you can condition yourself to expect the bad days and then celebrate the little accomplishments on those days.

For everyone else, I am open for encouragement and advice. I cant say I will take all the advice because my options are somewhat limited, but I still want to hear it. And if anyone knows where I can find out about the mTBI support groups locally, I sure do want to know.

Thanks...