My child calling me she relapsed
my grandchilds mother
calling me from the er
afraid of being committed

my eldest child saraeve
who i do not like anymore
as her change is not for the better
of the family

my sixteen year old
as lazy a person i never
met my son doing his own thing
who knows what that is

i have so much going on
and having no choice
i have to stick around

my family knows of my ultimate
end in my physical state
all downhill

a breakdown is what i feel
just one more thing to push me
over the edge

what can't they see the pain inflicted
come from them
it hurts like a death

i might as well be

but i not allowed a breakdown
if you knew what is happening
simultaneously you would not believe it
but it is true
i am tired of my family treating me like
i owe them my entire life
like my kids said

it's your job

i had a job
a place where i meant something
some form of identity other than
being a mom
what my children say
a lousy one at that

it's just me and god in the ring
i don't even feel like picking my
arms up to protect myself

he has let this all happen
my sister trying to kick h
entered a program
i have been as supportive
as i possibly can

lets not break down now
eva
today isn't over
though i am
me