Hi Roz,
My heart breaks for you, it really does. My husband left me when my [then] undiagnosed fibromyalgia and depression got too "annoying" for him. He said that if our marriage didn't get more "fun" he didn't want it any more. So he split, and here I am 10 years later having raised 2 kids into adolescence. Now I really know what pain and fatigue are! I wish I had met someone new, and fallen in love, but the fact is that chronic illness and kids aren't a great selling point in the romance market. Stress is an awful trigger for RSD and depression so please make a straight line for your psychiatrist if you have one (and if you don't, now is a swell time to give it a try).

Now - the practical side (the lawyer side of me) dishes out some free legal advice. You said that you never applied for SSD, and also said that your husband says he doesn't want a divorce: my dear, you need to do one or the other now, and FAST. This is no time for cherished slow thinking or decision-making (nice, but a luxury you cannot afford now). Of course the lame dude doesn't want a divorce! he doesn't want a divorce because he will have to pay you $$$ support, especially because you have a chronic illness!!
First, please file for SSD if there is the slightest chance you might meet the criteria. Most applications are denied the first time, so completely ignore the first denial and plan on appealing it.http://www.rsdsa.org/4/resources/pdf...20Medicare.pdf The RSDSA website has great help and instructions. this website has great website links in the stickies section.

Second, immediately [next 7 days] chat with a lawyer about filing a petition for divorce. This doesn't make you divorced - it just means that you've given a court a piece of paper asking for financial protection while hubby is gallumphing around doing his own thing.You can change your mind later and talk to hubby and go to counseling or what not for months or years, and even withdraw your petition for a divorce. But the second you notify a court, the court will protect your bank account, your right to 50% of his pension and retirement, your right to 50% of your house, car, and anything else he owns. And the court will order monthly payments for you. Can you afford to go a single month without your prescriptions? Or electricity? Call your grumpiest, non-romantic friend to help with this process. Nolo Press publishes the best self-help legal books. Sorry to sound so harsh, but your life and health are at stake.
Loads of love and very tender hugs. I have been there - it is so shocking and so hurtful - you do not deserve this. You are a very giving and powerful person, and have helped so many people right on this site. Best of luck to you, and please hang on...
xox