I know it's hard, real hard, but it IS possible if your heart is in the right place. I am a firm believer that everyone has their "own personal rock bottom" and it is different for everyone. I hope you find yours soon as sometimes that is the foundation that you can rebuild your life upon.

I got a DUI back in 2011 (sitting in a parked car) and it was a LONG process to gain the privilege of driving again. I lost my license for a year, had a restricted license, paid the heavy fines, did the State classes, had the breathalyzer in my Land Rover and then had to gain the trust of my friends to even get in a car with me.

Sucks.

It will be OK.