Welcome Zasper,

It sounds like you are truly lucky and blessed. The desire to change is the first step and bodes well for you. I highly recommend working with a therapist to improve coping skills and deal with negative feelings. Also looking at some cognitive behavioral self help books could help you address self-talk that contributes and can help you get out of the behaviors and feelings you want to change. Keep up the good work.

Sending Healing Love,
Littlepaw