As my condition continues to worsen, despite various treatments, I am experiencing more and more loss and grief. The biggest blow came when my sister, in an attempt to be supportive, reminded me that my nephew (the first and only one) would be walking soon and I would want to keep up, so I needed to do everything to get better. It hurts me to think that I will spend his entire childhood always a little removed from him so he doesn't hurt my leg. The second biggest blow came when this spread into my thigh, meaning I could no longer do throwing on the pottery wheel - a very meditative and soul touching activity for me. Some times the losses are small; sometimes they are big. But after 8 months of pain and 5 months of treatment, I am losing hope I will ever get them back.

I do have very wonderful moments. It's not all doom and gloom. And I can see the good in the little things. I am happy things aren't worse. But when these moments of grief hit me, they are so overwhelming and powerful. I don't know how to stop the flow of emotional pain. They seem to be becoming more frequent and less controllable. I'll break out in tears at the most random times. Did/ does anyone else experience this and how do you cope? Does it get better?