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Old 03-21-2015, 11:06 PM
ger715 ger715 is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,180
10 yr Member
ger715 ger715 is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,180
10 yr Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diandra View Post
hi baba,

Like dave, i am 20+ yrs in this and, as dave said, acceptance. As difficult as that seems right now. Keep fighting though, fix what you can fix, keep going for all the methods or treatments that ease your pain and your soul.

Focus only on what is good in your life, do not look at the things you cannot change because you are wasting your very precious energy and time. It is so hard, i know, but cherish the people in your life that are still coming around and helping and being with you. Don't stew over the family and friends who maybe are not there for you.

Losing my career was the hardest for me. Feeling productive was hard. I volunteered as i could. When i first lost my job, we gave up our house for a small apt so we could save money. We lived across the street from a hospital so i walked across the street to the volunteer dept, told them my story and my limitations and asked them if they had volunteer job for me. Three hours a week i worked in the family icu waiting room tending to, holding the hands and just trying to help the families who were distraught over their loved ones brought to the icu by car accidents or sudden severe illness. I was helping them, with all my limitations, i was still able to help someone and these people were so grateful for the help. Many were alone and elderly and crying. Holding someone's hand or an arm around a shoulder and kind,soft word was all i could offer but, it helped. Little did all these folks know, they were helping me learn, i did still have some value. The distraction of all this took my mind off my health and pain issues.

You learn there is always someone worse off then you and you can help and that alone, helps your soul. Truly....i know it sounds corny, but it is true. I made some wonderful friends with that little hospital job, 3 hrs a week.

There is a book given to me in 1994 when it was written called
"a whole new life" by reynolds price about how he dealt with a life altering illness that turned his life upside down. He was a professor at duke univ, an author.

And obviously, seeing a therapist to talk about the grief and loss.
I not only went to a therapist but to a hypnotist who did hypnotize me and had me go back in my mind to an age when i was my happiest and healthiest....we went back yr by to the age of 25. He had me recall how i felt, my joy, my young healthy body, my frame of mind. He taught me that when i am at my lowest, to think about that time and oddly, that works. The mind is powerful, that is why meditation and guided imagery works. Go on youtube and there are many lovely guided imagery meditations with lovely music that are helpful.

My best to you as you deal with this,
diandra

Diandra, really liked your idea of volunteering at the hospital. I'm sure those you visited really appreciated. Just shows there are so many ways we can be useful; just have to give it our best. Learning new ways to work with the abilities we do have and not focus on what is gone only brings us down.


Gerry
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"Thanks for this!" says:
Diandra (04-11-2015), EnglishDave (03-22-2015), eva5667faliure (01-13-2016), RSD ME (01-13-2016)