I'm very sorry that you've experienced so much loss at such a young age. That is certainly something that I am familiar with as well. The fact that you have been diagnosed with the Pineal Cyst would, I imagine, play a huge, huge part in exacerbating your already present anxiety about living and dying.

Everyone is different I know, but for me the best way to conquer something like this is to learn as much as I can about it. That way I know the facts and I'm not left wondering and worrying myself sick.

It seems to me that your Neurologist has not explained your health condition to you well enough. I'm only guessing that from previous questions but if I was in your situation and dealing with other health issues as well as this cyst, then I would make an appointment with the Neurologist or with any other health practitioner that you know and have seen before and take in a list of your questions and find out all that is possible.