Remember Hadrian - Brick by brick good citizens of Rome...

It is easy to get run down by the tenacity of this damn disease. I think it is especially hard when the logical, goal oriented part of our minds tries to comprehend why we aren't getting anywhere fast. The things you are dealing with, pending exam, SSDI, licensure; all those would be stressor annoyances to anyone who was not in pain. Pain makes you tired, wears you out emotionally and physically, steals your resistance. Some days just doing your ADLs takes fortitude. To work around this you must approach the large goals in smaller components that are achievable and give yourself praise for meeting the smaller goals. This is the new normal, you still deserve praise for doing less than you used to!

The smoking cessation date will arrive. Getting the form from the employer sounds doable. Every smaller goal you meet will make you feel stronger and more accomplished. The large goals will diminish in chunks, not all at once. Do as much as you can and forgive yourself for the rest.

Are you able to get to a pool? I don't remember... I can't say enough about Aqua therapy when everything else is causing pain. Can you tolerate any sort of compression or ACE wrap? Have you tried kiniseotape? I find it helps with swelling and microcirculation (my skin looks normal color underneath as I take it off then goes mottled). I wear it for a few days then stay off a few. I am sorry for the bumps in the road. They are tiring and frustrating, I am sick of them myself but don't see any other option other than to get as much life back as I can and try not to be devestated by what is missing. For another inspirational quote I'll go with Churchhill "If you're going through Hell, keep going!" Hang in there sister, cuz you can't give up till I do and vice-versa. And Skype with the grandbaby when you can if you aren't already, not as good as smelling their little heads but at least you get a visual.

Sending extra Healing Love,
Littlepaw