Watched mass
Message was
No NEGITIVE thoughts
So upon waking I have to get
myself going
Going means
Taking my first set of Meds for the day
Eight Pills just to start
And then two more doses in the afternoon
and then again before bed
I should be happy to have Meds that help a bit
I feel like I am half dead already
To have to muster up and work myself
into a mental state of positive happenings
is work in itself
Depression seems to override anything I do
for pain supersedes all
I haven't had a belly laugh
Can't remember the last time
Trying to push it out of my mind isn't a easy task
Coming here is where I am lifted
Very special persons take it from me
And get it
I don't want it anymore
I was never this pathetic
It makes me sick that I see myself
like such
All I hear is
Eva, you are such a strong woman
I am weak physically but what disturbs me
mostly what it robs me of the use of my brain
O n c e "it" captures me it's almost to late
Today I will try my best to stay positive
Me