Hi RosieFlower and Welcome,
Your story touched me as it was exactly the point I was trying to make in my first answer. The real person inside doesn't change. Yet there are constructive and destructive courses to choose.
Anyway, this Post is about you. I notice from your Profile and your other Post we have some things in common. Your Major Depressive Disorder is my Depressive Personality Disorder, Migraines/Headaches equal Cluster Headaches, Anxiety - Yep, Chronic Pain - Of Course.
Also, where you have Ketamine Infusions, I have Lidocaine and take Oral Ketamine to control neurological pain.
If you ever want to discuss any of these issues, anything else, or if you simply want to vent I'm always about.

Dave.