NatEng,

Welcome to NeuroTalk. Sorry to hear about your friend.

It would be very helpful to understand your ages. PCS can have a different course/prognosis based on age.

As you noted, some PCS symptoms can occur in people who do not have PCS. It is hard to help you sort this out because you are not specific about his symptoms and behaviors. He may recognize some of his symptoms but it is likely he does not understand all of the symptoms he may have.

It would likely help if he had a NeuroPsych Assessment done. With this assessment, he could get a better understanding of his condition and hopefully learn coping strategies and work-arounds. It would be good for him to have a better understanding of his depression issues. Depression is very common with PCS, especially for younger people.

You can start to learn about these issues by reading the Vitamins sticky at the top. At the bottom of the first post are some useful links. The TBI Survival Guide and the Brain Line Lost and Found article are very good.

If you are going to have a successful relationship with him, he will need to understand his limitations and struggles. I have lived with PCS since I was 10 years old. I wish I had 1/10th the knowledge when I was in high school and college than I have now. It would have saved me a lot of heart ache. The doctors did not give me nor my parents any guidance so my life and academics were a roller coaster.

I'm sure you've been told you can not change a man. Many women struggle to believe this. But with PCS, it is all the more valid. If he is going to grow and change or improve as a person, it will have to start with his understanding of his condition and then desiring to make changes in his life. The emotional volatility can make life miserable, especially for those close to the PCS sufferer.

Personally, I don't think you can change his depth of depression. He needs professional help for that. Trying to make him happy will just be frustrating to you both. Believe me. I have lived the PCS depression roller coaster.

I could say more but don't want to overload you. Read the TBI Survival Guide and Lost and Found. The Survival guide is 84 pages if you choose to print it out. Then you can read and highlight the important parts. Some part will not apply but you will have many Ah ha moments as you recognize symptoms.

Please feel free to ask anything. There are lots of good people here.

My best to you.