Welcome Littlewife,

What a crucible of joy and tragedy you have been living in these last two years. You must be worn out. It takes a tremendous amount of strength and love to do everything that you are doing right now. And it IS a loss and a stress for you too.

I think it is too early to know what the future will bring. It can be very challenging not to project too much onto to it but I think you have to take life in small units of time right now. Get through the referrals, get through the case, get through tomorrow. That is enough for the time being. Don't overwhelm yourself with the what if of the unknown if you can avoid it.

Don't give up on possible treatments. I felt awful emotionally on neurontin but better on nortriptyline which takes the edge off the nerve pain. I find topicals helpful on my surgical scars. Anything that dampens the pain some helps the whole system keep from getting so overstimulated. Vit D is helpful for chronic pain and nerve dysfunction. If you are concerned about a nerve having been cut then try to run that down. I had a nerve injury during a minor ortho procedure and had devastating pain that left me whimpering on the couch. Get a nerve conduction study done if you can and see if there are deficits. A plastic surgeon peripheral nerve specialist suspected a neuroma from my symptoms and I ended up having a 3.5 hour revision and nerve repair. It is not perfect, but I am not whimpering on the couch and I can function better than before. My CRPS came from another unrelated procedure.

Community agencies or churches with strong pastoral care departments may provide counseling options at low or no cost. Try to get what support you can, this goes for both of you. It is a heavy load to be the mother of a very young child, care for yourself and care for your husband. You must take care of yourself for your own good and for your family's. Your husband may be in denial for some time before he is able to move on. It is devastating to be doing what you love, feeling great and then suddenly have less than a third of the life you once had. There is anguish and rage and deep sadness. Check into community resources to see what's out there, you can call your area United Way and they can help. Perhaps having the info available could give him a nudge into getting support in this difficult time. It is not a failure to ask for help.

Remember that you are not alone, there are other spouses and caregivers here. Come when you need. Be kind to yourself.

Sending Healing Love,
Littlepaw