Hi Velkyn,
No need to be nervous about starting therapy. You are looking at solutions focused work that is largely dealing with present feelings and gaining coping skills. Be sure you "click" with your therapist. Rapport is important, the relationship is part of what is healing. If you aren't feelin' the love or that the therapist gets you then perhaps try someone else. It is common to have a trial initial session. I was lucky to find someone right off who was a good fit for me and we got straight to work. I only wish I had gone sooner.
You may get back to your work at some point but it may look different than it does now. There are so many opportunities for nurses off the floor with utilization review, case management, phone triage, home health and the like. Perhaps you will do something new you wouldn't have imagined before.
Aside from a few with deep pathology, almost no one gets secondary gain from being one of "those" patients. Nobody gets up one day and says "You know what, I think I'm gonna be a chronic pain patient!" This isn't what people aspire to in life. Most in healthcare know this but perhaps forget it sometimes. Yes there are people out there who abuse the system. Yes there are drug seekers. Is that most people? No!
Give yourself permission to be hurting, to need help, to be vulnerable. That's where you are right now. You went into nursing to help others in need. There are others out there who will now help you. Let them. It's what they do.
Keep getting out as much as you can! It DOES make a difference.
I am sending more Healing Love,
Littlepaw