Hi there and sorry you life is so flat. You can and will be better. I am reading "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns - an old book on cognitive therapy - and there have been many things in this book that have helped me out of my "staring at the walls" period. It is a little hard to get into, but please try reading through once and see what you think. It may all be physical and not just psychological, but sounds like you are having a real depressive state. Keep trying - you will find the answer. Good luck - Tim