Velkyn,

I just wanted to chime in with support from another nurse. I'm an NP, injured on the job almost three years ago (trying to save a baby). I will never be able to return to my job as a nurse-midwife that I loved and was a part of my identity. I've gone through (and am still going through) all of those feelings you express- guilt, anger, the need to return to work as the primary bread winner.

Oh, and I live in New England, just outside of Boston which has had it's worst winter in a century. The cold is very hard for me to tolerate. Plus I can't wear anything but short sleeves. It's so fun to walk around in a t-shirt when it's 12 degrees out and there's six feet of snow on the ground. Simple things like the ability to wear a long sleeved shirt or a jacket in the winter have been taken away from me.

I understand everything you are saying about being one of "those" patients. It is just who we are now, and I hope I can be forgiven if, as a nurse, I ever misjudged one of "those" patients.

Please don't be afraid of starting therapy. Also don't be afraid to switch therapists until you find the right one. I wish I had done it much sooner (but of course workman's comp wouldn't cover it- but WC is a WHOLE other monster).

I really just wanted to give you support from one nurse to another.
Gigi