Acceptance is admitting defeat, one should always be searching for that little glimmer that makes Coping so much easier.

thanks englishdave. It's just that I feel I have to accept otherwise I don't know what may happen. At this point, I feel no purpose in life because each minute (literally) is spent trying to overcome the pain (in every part of my body ALL AT THE SAME TIME) and it's exhausting just getting from one minute to the next minute. Why go through this? what's the point? I am miserable. everyone in my family is miserable cus they feel for me and can't do anything. all do is cry.
From all my reading and asking posters here, it seems like there is no recovery (pretty much only worsening or if lucky you plateau). so holding out for that glimmer seems like it is making it worse. I feel like that's what got me into this pain in the first place (hope that acupuncture could fix my NON PAINFUL symptoms). I don't know...I know I am so negative. I feel bad for my continued posts but it helps me to not feel so alone when you guys respond. I appreciate it more than you guys know.