Canagirl,

I had no intention of detailing my own issues here, but your asking makes me feel you are reaching for a kindred comparison where it comes to pain, so maybe this will help. I will try to be brief.

I have been on this journey for 25 years, although the seeds (and mental conditions) were sown much earlier. At the end of my 4-weekly Infusion cycle, between meds I am at a 9. Fully loaded, a 4-5. When the TN or Cluster Headaches hit - off the Chart 15 or more.

In 1990 I had a 3rd MVA which crushed the vertebrae in my neck. The first two damaged upper and lower spine. This one triggered an escalation of Neurological Hypersensitivity (allodynia) in my legs, arms, neck and back which has gotten progressively more severe. The faintest touch hurts, clothes "burn", I cannot even have a sheet over me at night - and this is the North of England. Recently I have found that Solvent Neurotoxicity from the '80s may also be playing a part in my deterioration.

Compressed spinal cord in my neck means I feel as though I have been stabbed through the bone in my arms. Weakness/numbness from lower spine left side.

Chronic Neuropathic Facial Pain with TN feels like whole left side of face and head is being shocked through sharp needles. Chronic Cluster
Headaches - with meds still strike 3-4 times a week for up to 2 hours. Feels like a white hot railroad spike driven into brain behind left eye. Makes me desperate to punch my fist through my eye, rip my brain out and smash it against the wall.

Other physical and mental conditions and issues.

How do I cope? A lot of meds that have been added to as my musculoskeletal, neurological, arthritic and Cluster Headache conditions have increased:
Lidocaine Infusions
Oral Ketamine
Morphine
Tramadol
Arcoxia
Topiramate

I also meditate, daily if I can. Since I found this Forum 4 months ago my mood and outlook has improved as I have a worthwhile distraction from being trapped at home by these, and other, conditions.

Above all else, you do become hardened and 'used to' the pain. It is not nice, it is draining, but at the moment you are in a position where diagnosis and treatments ARE likely, even if it takes a while.

I know you keep hearing it, but try to relax - stress and anxiety increases physical pain. Meditate, count, breathe, think "puppies and kittens", anything…

Know that you are not alone.

Dave.