The only reason I want to go off of the Methadone is because it makes my CFS worse. It doesn't make me goofy or anything like that. No one can tell that there's anything wrong with me or that I am on anything.

My Dr. would like to see me off of it so I would feel better with the CFS but he lets me have what I want. He wrote me out a script last night on it. He never mentions me going off of it, I just wanted to do it.

I see an Immuneologist next Wed. so I am hoping they can find out what is wrong with my immune system. If they can do something for the CFS then I won't mind being on the Methadone so much. I love it for the pain. It's better then any pain med I have been on. Like you, my winters are worse. In the winter time, my pain is 10 times worse. I am dreading another winter like the one I had this last year.

Allen, I do know what you are saying about not having the meds. When I go off of mine, I can't walk, think, nor function. I remember when that happened to you and I was hoping you would be able to get them back. I honestly don't know how anyone goes without them. I think I would be out on the street buying some if I couldn't get mine. I even told my Dr. that and I've never done anything like that in my life.

I always worry about not being able to get my Methadone but he says as long as he's around I will have what I need. When he semi-retired, I paniced but he reasured me that if he only worked one day a week I would be one of his patients along with Bill at the time.

I absolutely know what all of you are going through that can't get your meds, and it bothers me when people in our shape can't get the help they needs.

Thanks for explaining to me about the Methadone and going off of it, I didn't know that. I just don't know if I could last a month until my body could fight the pain. I have tried 3 times to go off and the pain is overwhelming. As I said I honestly get more suicidal from the pain.

Rogue, you might be right about the pain getting worse, that could be from the stress of going from having the meds to help it and then having nothing to help it.

We turned my VNS up yesterday evening. I'm hoping my depression and stress will get better and then in turn help my pain some. So far it hasn't helped at all but I'm not giving up on it.

Thanks for the help guys. I love all of you.

Ada