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Junior Member
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Delaware River Valley, USA
Posts: 63
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Junior Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Delaware River Valley, USA
Posts: 63
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Aelfaba,
I hear you with the kids. I have a 4 yo and an almost 13 yo (different but I promise you, equally demanding). Do you have a partner? Do you have any family in the vicinity? You need to impress upon them the situation and elicit a lot of help with daily tasks. You are going to have to relinquish a lot of control to them so that you can rest. That is the ONLY way to not multi-task. Their commitment to providing all that extra help to you will enable you to recover much, much faster.
If you are raising 2 small kids with a high powered job, you are probably a real go getter, so this may be really tough for you, but I think it's the only way. There is no 'mind over matter' when it comes to brain healing.
As far as handling work, I am coming off being a stay at home mom with my youngest when this happened, so we were/still are reliant on one income. We ended up having to put her in full time pre-K because I couldn't take care of her. I was supposed to be preparing to return to work, which I am not going to be able to do in any way I'd imagined, and I am trying to figure out what kind of job will work for me. I feel grateful that I do have my husband's income and also that we live a pretty frugal life so that we have not been reliant on two incomes.
I don't go to church anymore. For me it's not the music noise but the crowds, chaos, people trying to talk to me all at once. You know, just a nightmare to think about it. I might as well go hang out in Grand Central Station. So, my husband goes and takes the kids. He is very supportive, but it's frustrating for him. Socially, I try to make sure I spend time one on one with friends I enjoy, who understand I may get tired quickly. I almost never gather with more than that except at the dinner table. When I do attend shows at school, I hang around the back and try not to interact socially so that I can save my energy for enjoying my child.
Mark in Idaho said, "be very selective about your activities." This was said to me, but I went backward so many times before I realized how seriously I had to take it. We really have to let things go to get better.
Be well,
Julie
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About me: Married 45yo mother of two girls. In July 2014, I hit my head on the side of the pool; since then I've had 3 lesser concussions, one of which was due to MVA.
For the 5-10 years prior to that I’ve had what I now realize were possibly 20+ undiagnosed concussions or sub-concussions. Likely most of these result from Duane's Syndrome, for which I now have prism glasses. Have successfully done vestibular therapy and plan to start vision therapy.
Current companions: Significant depression, anxiety, hyperacusis, difficulty with verbal expression (recall & word mixups), mild spacial/vestibular issues. Feelings of disconnect in relationships.
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