Dear Jerie,

I'm very sorry that you're in so much pain right now and in such a terrible situation regarding your treatments.

I just wanted to mention to you that we have an SOS forum here if if ever need to vent and talk about how you're feeling.

Survivors of Suicide Forum

Call someone, a friend or a relative that you are close with to come to you so that you're not alone while you're feeling so badly.
Please call a hotline number if you are feeling suicidal or call your doctor or your therapist if you have one. Call 911 if you feel you can't deal with this anymore.

If you are in the US, call National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
to speak to a trained counselor. Use that same number and press 1 to reach the Veterans Crisis Line.

http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/