I can sympathize totally,life's a cruel ride for some, when you have your health you don't think for a fleeting second that you could end up looking to take your life or end up on powerful meds or praying on an operation to make things bearable,a year ago I was fit and strong then severe elbow arthritis set in after 3 ops to keep it at bay,this led to damage to my ulnar nerve and then the morphine and gabapentine and all the side effects and now the depression and isolation that entails......