ROFL!! Don't give up your day job, Blue.

Oh lord, the old cumudgeon's corner. Let's face it, MS
make curmudgeons of us all.

Let's see, how did we use to do this, Oh yea, we picked
something that peeved us off and wailed on it.

So is opening wine bottles the subject of our rant? If so,
I have a perfect solution. Get the screw on capped wine.
Noooooo! Wine "connisewers" are coming at me. Back, Back,
I say.

Someone gave me a giant bottle of M&R Asti Spumanti
(the expensive stuff). Well I couldn't even lift it off the
floor, so I went and got ye ole corkscrew and began to
tackle the monster. The cork popped off with out knocking
me out, so I went and gots me a wine glass.

So, how do I lift this monster to pour it into my delicate
wine glass, without breaking the glass and my back? I'm
in my Scooter, mind you, so this isn't going to be easy.

I did the only thing I could do, I put the wine glass on the
floor, making sure it was sitting flat, so I wouldn't knock
it over. Then I took the bottle with both hands and leaned
it toward the glass, steadied it and out came the wine,
with most of it going in the glass.

As the bottle got emptier, the chore got easier. So that's
my story.

Next.....