Thank you! And I didn't think you sounded preachy at all.

I've always been a very goal oriented, focused person...I like to work, to feel useful, independent, etc. Type A personality which is not always good as I've learned the hard way.

It is difficult to not feel guilty about doing nothing when everyone is rushing off somewhere every day. I think society here also make it hard because they have no empathy for sick people, we are all just...lazy. The insurance company makes you feel that way too. There is a high expectation to be ok all the time, to be happy all the time and to work until you drop all the time.

These expectations lead to depression as well. Life is not supposed to be happy all the time. I do practice meditation and I read a lot about these things. I haven't been very focused lately, it seems like I can only do these things when I'm calm. It also doesn't help that drs make unrealistic promises about recovery. This gives the patient anxiety when they have not recovered as well as they were supposed to or as fast.