I'm starting to think my siblings should be a bit more grateful for me lol, they're both getting to enjoy perfect health while I'm catching everything for them . About the only thing I'm actually really thankful for is that my grandmother and great-aunts aren't around to depress my mother though.

Apparently there's some "curse" according to my grandmother, that the 3rd child always dies. That would be me, child number three of this generation. And I'm sure my grandmother if she still was alive would be heaping the guilt onto my mother for giving birth to me, she and my great aunts were quite opposed to my mother having me, fearing she would be burying me. (Nevermind that she and my great-aunts still had more than two kids and sadly did bury each of their third children...)

So they would be having a field day just over the MS add RA to the mix and I don't even want to think about the 'joy' they'd have at thinking they were correct.

Thankfully my mother has pointed out to me that of us kids I'm her fighter, and God won't give me more than I can handle (I don't quite see why he has to push the limit on what I can handle lol) but it's thus far been proven correct. I've come so close to pulling a trigger, or slashing an artery, but still find myself waking up the next morning deciding its a new day and time to start the fight again. By Eistien's definition I clearly suffer from insanity.

Only one more thing that has to be sorted out aside from the RA is the vision issues I've been having. There's no signs on the MRI of optic necrosis, or any lesions that would be affecting the vision, but it also goes beyond the simple eye changes of middle aging. So after the rhuemtologist, it's off to the optometrist to figure out why my eyes can't track motion from forward to back and why the vision is acting like I'm a resident of a house of mirrors.

(Wonder if I should start sharpening the knives... God might have started hitting back a bit too hard.)