Oh my dear MeBP. I feel so badly that you are feeling so alone. I wish I knew how to help you feel better. But I have pretty big shoulders and you are welcome to both of them.

bizi, love...I love your thought process. "Get up and live life." Somedays, that's the hardest damned thing to do.

Mari, I have been pretty anxious. (Wes is learning how to drive. YIKES.) So maybe that triggered off the thought process.

Nikko, sometimes I wonder if earlier diagnosis would have caused me to make different decisions.

Funny thing is this; if I hadn't made the decisions I did, getting pregnant with Wes and marrying my kids' dad, moving everywhere with him, deciding to have my Con too, getting the education I did, choosing the jobs that I did, staying with my ex as long as I did and then choosing to leave him when I did..............well, I WOULDN'T be here now.

I wouldn't have my kids. I wouldn't have my stressfull, yet somehow rewarding , job. And most importantly, I wouldn't have found my husband of present. And he is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

He is stable and kind and loving. He is forgiving and honest and loyal.

I'd be a fool to announce to one and all that I am not happy with my current circumstances.

So I have to say, every single moment of my past life was worth it since it brought me to today.

But once and awhile I wonder if I could have made it on Broadway.