I'm glad you decided to finally leave a message on "one of these places." I don't think that anyone is going to hold anything you say against you, at least not while you are in the shape you are in, and being honest about it.
All the other guys and gals are right. It's tough losing a loved one. I've lost two so far this year, a good friend and an uncle who died Friday night. But every single member here wants the best for you and your family, and if you choose to keep coming back, I'm sure you'll find some good friends who will be able to help you through your pain. They say that words are cheap, but they're also some of the most valuable things in the world when the right words are spoken at the right time. Good luck to you, Steash, and I hope we all see you back again later!

Idealist