since the loss of my job
a municipal employee
with overnight hours and
medical benefits
i am currently in the process of
having to accept that i no longer
can work
i couldn't have asked for a better position
that was including my mayor
i no longer live in the city i grew up in
46 years
and just a couple of towns over
my now mayor Sacco and former mayor and
employer Stack
just kissed and made up
in a sense i am getting better at getting information
on the laptop than a newspaper
how i miss reading the paper
not that i couldn't get it delivered
but it too falls into a very tight budget
waitress-ing most of my
the best years did not give me a good
working history hence a cleaning lady also
monies that i could have in pocket at all times
my children did not know we were poor
i am able all my life as God had allowed it
managed
always managed
keep a very nice zen feel in my home
as more than one visitor would refer to it
this makes me happy
as this is my achievement always
April of this year i lost my medical benefits
and most importantly a reason to get up for
most people in the world do
work
i miss my get away from home
and my old routine when Corissa was a baby
it came full circle with her as it was when i divorced my ex-husband
hence my decision to stay single till they grew
well their not done growing
they are 34,32,33,17 and my grandchild 4
5 children of my own blood
and two other children as a cleaning woman for the snooty
rich witches want to be would eventually would quit
after telling them off
point
two of my customers
one who had a difficult infant daughter
for mother
her first child older than myself
and her daughter Gabrialla fell in love with me
and then there was Zackary
both parents heroin addicts
new him while in mommies belly
until he was 7
then my children grown where i
could work days in the corporate world
did that
bought a house with a single mother
friend
while i had a short lived deli in Hoboken N.J.
it was all happening
our lives in a better place
moved out of my mothers and purchased one with
my then friend Dawn

now
all of what i wrote is when i was at my prime
sober in my late thirties
all my life working
then i became pregnant
Corissa became ill at 3 and a 1/2 months old
kidney
i have written about this i am sure

anyhow
my not to long ago
almost two months when my boss mayor
buddy pal
held accountable at all he does
tells me he cannot any longer extend my "leave without pay"
with the hope of one day returning
remember i had a sweet job
and when he called me and said
"Eva, i cannot extend your leave anymore"
i felt and knew that day was going to come sooner or later
and i said
"Brian thanks for all you've done, just let me remind you,
you can do most anything, your a politician

so grieving over that
it too shall pass

now i am almost set with my secondary
it is a program that works with medicare
it is offered here in N.J.
needless
it is difficult in many ways
we receive food stamps
Corissa and my granddaughter have
New Jersey FamilyCare medicade
SS just covers the monthly bill obligations
child support half towards the rent and the rest
on her needs
most time in the last week of the month
checking account generally has no more than $15.00
in it
and i thank and pray we can still have a roof over our head
this will also include my cost of meds
and i have mentioned somewhere
the help of a non-profit organization
called "AngelCare"
and has gotten me a great secondary
and the insurance for my daughter and granddaughter
is a huge relief
i will not lie
it has never been so bad
as it is at this point in my life
so,
i will try and do my best
and say thank you for all of your concerns
i pray you all do not have to experience
a loss of a good job a sense of identity
in God i Trust
all in Jesus name
the Son of God
Amen