Hi Mark In Idaho,

Firstly, thank you for your reply, and I am happy to be a new member of this site. Also woke up this morning not dead and not hospitalized, so I suppose I've let fear get the best of me again. What you have said about occipital condyle does sound logical. I too have considered that there is a strain, minor fracture, or slipped disc situation going on in the neck that's causing problems. I suppose the greatest frustration in my life right now is that I do not have the resources for MRI, much less other treatments, and so I am left assuming the worst in everything, and having little means of finding out what's what anymore.

As far as my injury/recovery goes, I feel stupid writing such a long verbose text, but will try my best to tell the story. I sustained a head injury at work in November, 2014. This was my third head injury in a span of two and a half years, with each subsequent injury bringing more severe and longer lasting symptoms into my life.

I have been a street skateboarder since I was 10 years old (I am now 22) and just three months prior to the workplace injury, I had slipped up doing a pretty routine trick. While going about 13 mph, I fell backwards and hit my head on the concrete, although I was able to roll out of it back onto my feet, somewhat lessening what would have otherwise been a direct impact.

I was living in NYC at the time and was still mentally/physically well enough to remain active, despite having what I now realize were mild PCS symptoms. I was self medicating (lorazepam and alcohol) and bussing tables in a very fast paced, high strung restaurant in the West Village. It was Thanksgiving night that I was accidentally struck in the head by another employee. I was in the kitchen clearing off dishes when the employee took a dish rack (weighing roughly 15 lbs) and forcefully swung it to get it on top of a shelf. This dishwasher guy was a big, heavy mofo, about 6'3 and weighed maybe 200 lbs. Unfortunately for me, he missed the shelf and struck me in the front of the head. I went down immediately, though was semi-conscious. I was taken to a hospital, had a CT scan (paid by employer) that came back "normal", and went home that night. The following day is when everything began to fall apart.

Some of the symptoms that ensued include a migraine headache which lasted 24/7 for 2 weeks, one instance of seizure, a dozen or more panic attacks per week for months, nystagmus and other optokinetic disorders, hearing loss, tinnitus, headaches, insomnia, and loss of balance/vestibular problems. But to me, the worst of all was losing my mind. More strange to me than losing memory/focus was that I spent long periods of time hallucinating. Hallucinations included bright lights, phantom like figures, voices, and sounds of explosions/car crashes in my head. I also had the most extreme streams of uncontrollable, racing thoughts I've ever experienced, worse than anything I've had on cocaine or other stimulants. The racing brain alternated with long periods of complete brain fog, lethargy, and inability to think at all. I never experienced these types of hallucinatory symptoms with previous head injuries. And they went on for months. Some of these experiences I jotted down in a journal when I had the shred of mental acuity necessary to do so.

I am incredibly thankful to say that many of these symptoms have since subsided, though some still exist daily, and others intermittently resurface. My recovery has been this. A month following the injury, I saw a neurologist who did not help at all, but diagnosed me PCS and PTSD with no advice for further treatment. I saw a psychiatrist who diagnosed me migraine with aura and major depression, prescribed paxil, klonopin (which I would not take on account of dependency issues) and topomax for migraines, which I would not take because of the swath of side effects it carries. I saw a neuropsychologist who was helpful with helping me sort out my mind while I could still afford to see her. She's actually the one who referred me to this website. I saw an acupuncturist once and a massage therapist once, both were helpful but too expensive to continue seeing.

Aside from that I am now a pescetarian, I quit drinking caffeine, quit narcotic drugs and alcohol, cut down my cigarette smoking by half, began sleeping on a normal, rigid schedule, and go for three gentle, mile long walks per day. I began doing light hatha yoga, meditation, chanting, ambient music therapy, and limiting exposure to loud noise, electronics, daylight, and other sources of stimulation. I had to let go of all of my friends/relationships. I have been relearning how to read, write, and think straight while keeping stress at a minimum.

I think that about covers everything, and again don't mean to be so long winded. :l