Hi everyone,

somehow i am back to this forum again. i just had a session with my counsellor and i had some thoughts which i thought of sharing.

Some background information abt myself: i was abused as a child when i was young, by family members. growing up in a dysfunctional family certainly hasnt been easy, as my elder sis was a low self-esteem girl who ran away from home, and brother who has history of joining street gangs and violent tendencies even until today. father had negligent parenting style whereas mother was unstable and always venting out her emotional outbursts on us children.

Now that my mother is aging and in her last few years, degenerating health which might leave her another few more years to live..., the topic of grief surfaces.

Grief in the sense that -
i may never have the chance to hear her apologize for these hurts.
my feelings may not get recognized by my estranged family
family did does not realise my hurting self
grief over the loss of a "complete" family that never happened
grief over the loss of a innocent childhood

somehow, it seems, the pain of child abuse, has transformed itself into coming to terms with grief, whereby today, i have to put in lots of effort to heal my emotional self and building a stronger self for one who never had a happy childhood =(