I found myself in Wikipedia.
Third Culture Kid
Quote:
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Third culture kid (TCK) [later also Third culture individual - TCI] is a term used to refer to children who were raised in a culture outside of their parents’ culture for a significant part of their development years.
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These are the parts that specifically apply to me:
Third Culture Kid - Identity
Quote:
Identity
One of the challenges of being a third culture individual is developing a sense of belonging, commitment, and attachment to a culture. These factors play a strong role in one's self-esteem and identity, and are especially apparent as present or not present among TCIs.
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Individuals who do not experience this same smooth transition into the new culture are referred to as "culturally rootless" and "cultural homelessness."
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Subtractive identity shift: when individuals are not able to have a concrete identity and therefore self-esteem and perception of self-concept become threatened and are more likely to be negative upon the individual's return home.[<== gotta love how they talk about "home" when discussing cultural homelessness...   ]
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When individuals who have spent a significant amount of their developmental years in a host culture and have not been able to adapt, develop an identity, and do not feel as though they belong, they are considered "culturally homeless" [CH].
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Some advantages include CH individuals recognize and respect the cultural differences within cultures, are often multilingual, and report themselves as cross-culturally competent. The disadvantages are a lack of a sense of belonging to any one culture or group, feeling alone in one's differences, and experiencing disorientation from frequent switching of cultures, norms, and homes. [...]they are unable to identify with a specific group.
Cultural homelessness has been found at times to be associated with low self-esteem, perceiving less control over one's own life, and an unsatisfactory level of experience with belonging and attachment.[20] The latter, belongingness and attachment, are both important for development and for feeling mentally healthy.
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I am one of the ill-adjusted TCI's. Every now and then I go through feeling sucky about it. This is one of those times. The new thing was finding my situation so well described in Wikipedia. That was somewhat reassuring, and at the same time, really depressing.
I ask two things of anyone wishing to comment:
-- Please refrain from trying to cheer me up about this. I know there are bright sides. Please understand that looking on them is
unhelpful.
-- Please do not tell me that "this too shall pass," unless you want me to 1) feel worse and 2) retort that everything passes when we die.