Quote:
Originally Posted by almondface
I have just shared 10% of the details regarding my struggle with some friends and they gave me very unencouraging advice that makes me frustrated.
This was what they said:
Just forget abt the past, it was so long ago
You shld be more forgiving of your mother, you shld try to understand her
Why are you still stuck with this same problem for so long?
You are stubborn
I guess,sometimes people just don't understand and give very victim blaming replies that hurts me. To them, i shld just reply ' yes i enjoy being in misery and hold onto the past because i enjoy crying, i enjoy being in depression and being down' . Its as if that i am crazy enough to deprive myself of happiness. The lack of encouragement from my circle of friends is just not helping and makes me frustrated. Sigh.... Life is tiring. Thats why i chose to retreat away from social gatherings now
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Hi almondface,
In my opinion your friends are totally WRONG. I grew up in climate of lovelessness and fear, it takes a lot to overcome the lack of a safe, loving, caring childhood. Therapy is likely to be involved in all but a few cases - if you trust Counsellors/Psychologists.
Above all else, it is down to you whether you can forgive, but I sincerely hope you can recover from the damage and be relieved from the Depression. Whatever anyone tells you, the two things are mutually exclusive, you CAN heal without forgiving.
Try not to avoid social gatherings with friends, this can lead to a pattern of avoidance which leads to other serious issues. Just try to relax and steer the conversations yourself.
Dave.