I hope you are doing better as this posting is a few months old. We've all had some losses I'd say but work thru it all and go on with life. Staying in fear keeps us from living. My grandkids 18 and 15 lost their dad a year ago at 55 and as sad as it's been, they go on and do their lives...they've had therapy and my daughter works with AA principles to help it all. Proud of my grandgirl as she enters UCLA in Sept...her dad would be so proud. Sadly, he's missed this. Carry on, hang in and do your life.