Hello Lothlorien,
I can so relate to what you are saying...I'm a 51 year old female and have self injured off and on since my teen years... I've been able to resist the urges now for about a year or so, but it hasn't been easy. My preference of si was cutting and burning. I think the main motivation for me personally to stop was when my teenage daughter started telling me about her friends who were self injuring.... I have never told her that i myself was self injuring. I'm sure that day will come. I do remember the guilt. Not only over the actually act, but the lies i'd tell to cover it up. Please feel free to PM me if you'd like.
we are leaving to go on a 12 day vacation on Thursday but i'd love to talk if you want before then...

vicky