A couple of years prior to my concussion I buried my mom, closest person to me, without shedding a tear (but with immense internal sadness, sorrow, and a subsequent depression).

I remember telling myself a while back before my concussion "i forgot the feeling to cry, it has been perhaps 5+ years I did not... maybe 10..."

Fast forward to post concussion. My Gf left me. I am left all alone in this world. I can't stop crying. Now I am a full year post concussion, and sometimes I wonder if my emotional vulnerability has improved at all. I am depressed. I cry often. With the wish that I somehow die in my sleep. I wake up in the morning early hopeless, with a dark cloud over my head.

Weird thing: NO ONE & NOTHING made me feel emotionally more stable EXCEPT my ex (the same who left me). When she visits me and behaves nicely, or calls me often, my overall symptoms get better. Episodes during which she disappears or becomes aggressive, blames me for stuff, and I slowly start getting worse.

I feel Concussion==>Depression ==> worsens concussion symptoms ==> emotional instability ...

I tried a couple of anti-depressants they made me worse. I often question the reason to live. I often think about a scheme to gently and far from the eyes off myself. I saw an article on Euthanasia in a magazine today and was very interested...

but why the crying? I don't understand... I would have felt more at peace if I did not humiliate myself in front of some people I know..