Just a reminder per our guidelines.. before this topic gets too involved here.
[Messages containing suicidal threats or threats of suicidal actions. Posts of a primarily suicidal nature should be made to the SOS forum.]
SOS forum link-
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/forum29.html

Members there are very helpful and understanding.

guidelines -
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=1293


Are you under any drs care for these feelings & symptoms?
If not , I suggest that is the next step, find some qualified therapists to help you thru the grief of losing both your mother & gf...