Quote:
Originally Posted by EnglishDave
Hi Bright Eyes,
When someone damages us and destroys our faith in Humanity, it takes a long time to recover.
Yet, your new partner seems to be trying to live up to your expectations, and only you will know when you are ready to fully trust again. Have you explained the previous situation to your new partner? Maybe not everything at once, but the body image abuse issues would give him a good insight into how you have been hurt, and how difficult things are for you.
Perhaps it is no bad thing that you cannot 'read' him fully, a little mystery allows a longer time to get to know each other deeply.
Finally, always remember the heart and mind are resilient to mistreatment in the form of broken relationships, especially when there is another to take it's place. Trust will come again.
Dave.
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I guess I just didn't expect it to hurt as deeply and intensely as it has.
The...whatever it is I have with him seems to be going okay. I'm a touch hesitant to refer to him as my partner or use the word relationship considering how new it is. He did share something extremely personal recently that helped me understand why he seems closed off. It made my heart hurt for him, but it's a step in the right direction. No, I haven't told him about the body image issues or abuse yet. I know it's something I should address sooner rather than later, but there's still that small part of me that thinks he'll hate me and consider me damaged if I bring it up. Rationally, I'm aware that if he does react like that then he's not worth having in my life anyway but fear of this sort is rarely logical.
Mystery does appeal to me and while I can't help feeling even more drawn to him because of it, I'm also scared witless by that. Not being able to predict how he'll react next puts me on edge.
I'll keep that in mind and try trusting one day at a time until I'm given a good reason not to.