My immediate family lives 2 hours away. I don't get to go there. They choose not to come here. It sucks. I face time and skype with them as I can. I try to text and talk as often as I can. My best friend has her own struggles so I just don't want to bother her. I don't have any friends up here. All I do is clean, cook, and help build our house. It's a lot to do. I want to work again, but right now... it's not looking like I am safe to. And by safe, I mean I don't want to have my PTSD/PCS ruin my reputation any further than it already has.

Have another week to wait to see physiatrist, and my therapist. Seems like a year from now. I want to be back to my normal. Not this. Its stretching my relationship with my longterm boyfriend. Its stretching all my relationships with friends. Its ruining my life. I feel like I won't be able to be good again. I don't always want to worry about depression, suicidal issues, anxiety. Everything. Just hope it gets better. I cant do this. I can't afford to be this way. No money in means no money paying bills. Frustration.