Originally Posted by DazedandConfused86

Thank you, both of you. :')

@Mark: Even when I was just lurking, your posts have been extremely helpful. Uplifting, too. Not sure about the wall's material, but it's somewhat hollow... even though that probably doesn't matter much.

I wish I punched the wall or something, instead of hurting my brain like that. :'( It's too fragile. I know I can't change the past, but I'm just so disappointed in myself haha. Doesn't help I did "that" just a few days after graduation. I'm constantly comparing my mental state to how I was pre-concussion, and I'm worried if I'll be able to handle college (unfortunately, I can't afford a gap year) and... ughhh. I'm never doing that again.

Heh. When I went to the doctor about my back, he said the same thing about how I manage stress. (Well, more like lack of management.) But I didn't tell him about my head-banging-- my parents didn't want me to "get a reputation as a psycho". I don't blame them, but... I don't know. I wish I could've gotten it checked out earlier. I'm dealing with this all alone.

I'm just sick and tired of feeling depressed/anxious and sleepy all the time. ;; I'm extremely thankful I'm not having constant headaches / facial neuralgia anymore, but... these mood problems, depersonalization, and sleepiness will eventually go away, I hope?

I've never done / don't do contact sports, other than swimming in some rough ocean waves (occasionally) and I definitely don't drink either. So at least that's working in my favor...

@Galaxy: Your posts are actually what motivated me to join and post, since we had similar circumstances. Not sure what's "worse" - one hard knock, or multiple smaller knocks... But the fact you've been recovering (however slowly) gives me some hope.

Same here about constantly thinking about the "incident". ): I know it's not doing me any good, but still. What bothers me is I had a choice on whether to injure myself or not. What I thought would be a temporary release of anger has caused me so much pain - physical, but mostly mental.

I'm not sure about neck injuries either? I guess it's worth looking into. My neck muscles have been feeling very stiff -- but again, I'm not sure if that's from overexertion (lifting, cleaning, swimming, etc.) coupled with bad posture from sitting at a computer during the school year. I've been doing neck stretches and they seem to help with the tension, slightly.

I wouldn't think I injured my neck from that head-banging? It was about as hard (and repetitive) as knocking on a door with your fist. Maybe a little less hard... but that might be wishful thinking. ):