Originally Posted by Cheryl1818

Dear Eva,
I've read many of your posts since joining this site. I love how you express yourself with poetry. So lyrical and thought provoking. Thank you for sharing yourself in that way.

I've had mood problems (some small, some huge) with every new drug I tried. Topamax was the worst. I kept having these little panic attacks at work that I had forgotten something important. I had to keep checking to make sure I was wearing shoes, panties and my bra. I remember looking out the window at my car and just wanting to go home and lay down in the bed where my brother died. I nursed him through lung cancer and he died in my guest room exactly 4 years ago today.

I have a list with seven names that I carry around with me so I can pull it out and read it when I need to.

I am truly sorry for everything you've gone through. I know that my problems are tiny compared with what others' are suffering and I sometimes hate myself for not handling myself better.

You deserve the highest honor in the land for caring for your granddaughter. I'm so sorry that your father left you at such a young age. I'm 56 and still NEED my parents. I'm so lucky they're both still around.

I love the thought of an "Eva Train." I hope it chuggs you through a peaceful low pain day. Take care, Cheryl