Hi Velkyn,

Good to hear you are getting in with PM. He may well have some tricks up his sleeve that you haven't tried yet. I am getting low dose ketamine infusions with my PM, something no one else had offered and they seem to be helping.

I am sad to read that you have such negative feelings about your foot. I do understand them perfectly and also went through a period feeling I might be better off without mine. These feelings are not helpful no matter how justified they may seem. One day I had his realization that I was never going to be able to heal or feel good about a part of my body I was irritated with. I started going out of my way to be kinder to my foot. I rub it gently with lotion and massage it after exercise and at the end of the day. Even better I get my husband to do that for me sometimes. When it really fusses and stings I actually talk to it. Saying things like "hush foot, it's okay...you're okay." I find this changes my attitude towards my foot and my Mom energy comes out because I am treating it like something I cherish, like a child or animal. I have to accept that it will not be as good as it was pre-injury and I have to love it anyway.

I understand the anger too. Very natural when you are hurting. I seem to remember that you were going to start counseling. That is a good place to take those feelings and work on moving through them. It is terrible what happened to you. And anyone would be angry and in despair but staying in that place does not help you recover. Keep up the work to get out of it. You will make progress, it does takes time. I hope the new doctor helps you find relief!

Sending Healing Love,