WAVES,

The 100 mins ordeal was horrible and I honestly do not know how I will recover. My life is changed now.

The iPAD girl eventually gets me from the waiting room and asks me about my meds AS SHE IS LOOKING AT THE MEDS FROM THE VISIT TWO MONTHS AGO.
Every visit they ask me to tell them about my meds. All of those records are on the iPADS but they need me to say what is on the record.
(I never think to bring the meds because I certainly cannot remember the doses at this point (the pdoc's changes about taking some of the meds in the a.m. and about increasing the Klonpin, my modifications such as the Lamictal which I did not mention).
Then she is having a bigger problem with the program on the iPad.

She asks me for my dx. She says it is a depressive disorder. I was dx'd BP in 1988 in my very first psych visit.
I told her that in 1988 the pdocs I saw did not pay attention to the types of BP.
Then I told her that another pdoc said I was BP NOS. She was satisfied with the NOS

Apparently they re-diagnose me each visit -- the pdoc or nurse makes the determination based on how I respond to the iPad girls.

She keeps asking about the amount and the times of day.
I say that I take them all at night (the timing became an issue for the Nurse later.)


It was toooooo hard to answer questions like how much lamictal do you take in the morning and I see that you are taking whatever amount of nuerontin.
I kept telling her I did not know but that what she was saying did not sound right. I ask her to repeat, . . .
This goes on for a while . . . . . . .
I said that I would bring the bottles with me next time but I did not have the doses in my head. I know that I take four meds.

The iPAD girl said we don't do the Verapamil. I politely, VERY quietly, smiling and with slow words said yes the Verapamil is a bipolar med.

===========
I was at the edge of breaking when I saw the Nurse.
I was a wreck.

I was not happy when she initially said "no" to the Verapamil.

I do everything I can to avoid talking about sleep with the Nurse.
I was unsuccessful.

She made a vague/mostly unworded comment about my state.
Also she was not happy I was taking all the meds at night.
She got frustrated. Asked if I had been hospitalized.
Yes, I said, in 1992 with Bipolar.
Commented on the low dose (50 mgs Lamicatal -- I said side effects such as paresthesia and formication.

I interrupted her to get up to find some tissues down the hall because I was crying and mascara was running.
Crying, I told her that this is very hard. That it was my third day in the office.
Third day in the office I said and repeated a few more times.

====
Nearly everyone -- 1st office person, IPAD girl, 2nd office person wants to talk about how I am getting my meds. I said that I do not want them delivered anymore since my address is incorrect in the system and the Drivers call me and make three trips for four meds.

Then we have a discussion (separately with each of the three) about which CVS pharmacy because the stores are three miles apart and it would matter which one I go to.
Three people ask me for the CVS address. I do not have it I say about 6 times to each of the three. . . . . .

I am clearly anxious and sleep deprived and quietly crying.

--
Then at the desk they could not find any pdoc in the practice who could see me.


M