this weekend alone with my grandchild
was smooth
yet her separation from my daughter Corissa was
hard on her
she has developed a sense of abandonment
something that really disturbs me
innocent to everything
yet she has to go through something
i hoped to spare her from
the babies mother is not stable yet
it is such a slow evil process and my grandchild
suffers what the adults throw her way

the last time Corissa took off
ran away damaged something i must work on
as i ONLY relate

Corissa's
i don't want to title him anything but
have a severe defensive protective instinctive
i is very difficult not to react and i don't
but explain to my child why her father is the way he is
about you
ignorant to the hilt
i feel for her so badly

while she was in Atlantic City
with his adopted child of the woman he is with
mother is vacationing in her home land
Dominic Republic
anyhow he has verbally knocked her down
for her sexual preference
and is not accepting of her
both 13 year old and a 56 year old
bashing her
i'm so angry
yet i had to concentrate on my child

i managed to put a sticky note in her
make-up bag
something i used to do for her everyday
for her from first grade to eighth
i would put a note in her lunch box
everyday she went to school

now everything i had hope for
as she was turning into a stunning
absolutely stunning young lady
as she was morphing into this stunning
young woman she is now was and still is challenging
as her male parent calling her fat
damaged her and her ego was shot
moving past that
it is starting again
saying Corissa is stupid for getting a tongue ring
at 17 is okay if earned
like do well as a young responsible citizen of this time
in life
not easy
and here is the trouble
he uses his wallet to buy her over
you read right
he is not interested in her well being
as i knew a long time ago
but i couldn't burst her hope
that there be something between them
it is all superficial and she has come see this
and is aware of what she will get from him
MONEY the root of all evil
and now i must explain the difference
of being smart
or become a superficial person

i have been on this roller coaster ride
and don't see an end to this quite yet
i have to undo what he says and does
and i'm tired of it
finally she admits to me
for example
she won't call in his presence
she is afraid he'll cut her off
when it comes to the only thing
they have going
MONEY
I'M SO SICK OF IT
my mother to date will speak to me
on the phone
and should her ex surprise her
by coming home earlier than expected
she will begin speaking to me as her friend
just not to let him know she was speaking to me

i text Corissa when down at AC with his stepchild
who is 13 and a couple husband and wife
i knew who they were

"Corissa you and i share the one only Father that matters
and that is God the Father"

i may have had a mother and a father
but by far were they ever that
my mother would turn her head away
when terrible things were happening

hence

i trusted no man around me
sadly including their father

dear Father
help me be gentle with my daughter
i do not ever want her to hate or resent me
i only want to protect her

she is stunning
he will not take that from her
she needs to see things on her own
and let me just say
when powerless over certain situations
is when i HAVE to turn it over and just
pray
all will be okay in the end
in Jesus name
love me