Thanks everyone.
Deja Vu,
I will think about the suggestions you offered.
I would definitely say that our marriage has been strained and we have been distant prior to the surgery. THe one thing we liked doing together...travel...is now stressful.
On our last trip, he berated me several times in front of people. Something he only did in private. He is more of a loose cannon now. He did this throughout the trip, in different situations and different people. There were times I was crying behind sunglasses, him totally unaware. If he was aware, he would not care.
It was so embarrassing and humiliating when the people witnessed this. I did not want to address it with him because I knew he would get loud and people would hear. But there is no use discussing it or arguing it later because he is always right and I am always wrong. In his mind, I am the one at fault always.
I am not saying I am perfect. My daughter says that both my husband and I have always had strong personalities, but she agreed that things are awful for me. I am burying a lot of emotions and resentment.
Having a strong personality with my own opinions makes it even double hard to swallow it down and not speak my mind to him for fear of a huge argument or blow up.
There have been several times I totally lost it and screamed like a lunatic to him. He just sat there uncaring and nonresponsive. He usually will just walk away.
Sometimes I think he "pretends" to be compassionate when he see's something sad on tv.

I had "saved" him twice when he could have died when he got a hematoma on the brain because he was on blood thinner. Fighting with him to go to ER. I was on my way out to work and noticed he was not talking right. I had to argue for more than 30 min to get him to go. He was NASTY and mean to me. But finally agreed after I spewed all kinds of terrible scenarios that could happen if he ignored the symptoms.

I feel bad for him. When I get mad, I will look at his MRI and then realize this is not his fault. Then feel guilty for how I feel toward him.
But as I said before, he has been pretty much like this prior to surgery. Only much worse now.

Just writing about it in here is exhausting. I don't know if I can rehash it all to a therapist from start to finish.
Sometimes, I just want to put it on a shelf and do something else and think something else. Be happy and forget this is going on.
I don't want to waste any more time obsessing about it.
But the second he comes home, I dread it. and back to reality.

He says he is not happy and has not been happy for a long time in our last argument over something very silly and petty.
I sometimes think we would be better off separated.
I just do not want to uproot myself at this stage in my life. I don't think he does either.