You are far from being disloyal having a need to open up is understandable. There is nothing worse than the "silent treatment". It is cruel. I had experienced this as a child and as an adult with my mother. I think that was called "conditional love'.

Also was married to a man for several years that would give the silent treatment if I did or didn't do whatever it was. Often I would try to guess what it was I did because I did not really know. If I asked if something was wrong; the answer was usually "nothing is wrong". But still the silence remained... So I completely understand what that is like.

But you have so much going on; can't imagine how you were able to have a house built or even going on a vacation under these circumstances.

Please take care of yourself. Hopefully you can find a hobby to help keep your mind off of this abuse as much as is possible. You may have to try going to a movie or out with a friend to get away for even a short time. Do something you might enjoy. It's okay to be selfish......you need to do whatever it takes to survive.


Gerry