Quote:
Originally Posted by DejaVu
My first fiancé had become very abusive after we had become engaged, long ago. It was a huge change in him. It was a nightmare. He would not go to couples counseling, etc. He was very belligerent. It was shocking. I had eventually found out he had become addicted to cocaine. He was trying to hide this from me. He'd refused to give it up. I broke off the engagement.
I remember the obsessing, trying to make sense out of irrational behaviors, trying to get over the deep hurt, etc. 
I am no expert; yet, I feel you are on a healthy track. 
I hope you have an equally pleasant evening!
DejaVu
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That had to be hard for you. I don't think I would or could handle addiction to drugs. Smart that you got out of that situation. That had to be a hard and brave decision on your part. I admire people that are not afraid to nip things in the bud.
My husband does not drink. Or when he does, it is very rare. The few times I saw him drunk, he was nasty to me and arguementive. so it is a good thing he is not a drunk.
He is not physically abusive although his angry outbursts are intimidating and I guess you can call "the fear of physical abuse" almost as bad as the real thing.
He has always been a well liked person in our family and friends. In all outward appearances he is a "good guy" but that has slipped away with the brain injury and I notice he has altercations with people other than me. His golf friends for instance.
He's a good person. But we clash in a lot of ways. I have always been the one to bring up an issue that needs discussing. He was brought up to bury issues and not discuss them.
Now with the brain injury, trying to discuss anything that needs discussing is impossible.
I've been burying them myself to avoid arguments. Something I am not used to doing. I really like to clear the air when there is any dispute.
I have never been the kind of person that is afraid to walk away from a dysfunctional relationship. But that is usually friends or coworkers.
My husband was my first serious relationship and we married young.
I think at this point. I will make no major changes, try to be there for him as a support with his medical issues. But I am not going to compromise myself in the process. If he can't handle it, then he can be the one to initiate separation. I would feel guilty and bad for him at this point, for me to be the one to leave.
Right now....silence..still shunned. Took a walk to get away from the stress and called my daughter for support and someone to vent to. Poor girl has to be sick of it!
Thank goodness we work opposite hours and see each other only at dinner time.
Great day otherwise!
